What are you looking forward to the most after your surgery? Is it feeling more in control of your life? Is it a certain weight or dress size that you want to obtain? Is it feeling that you are not the fattest person in the room anymore?
I am looking for a sense of peace....and now only 11 days from surgery am wondering if I will find it from a piece of plastic around my stomach, or if I need to look somewhere deeper. I want to be peaceful in my heart, peaceful in my actions. I want to be peaceful when I leave my house, not in constant fear that people are looking and judging me. I want to be peaceful with my children, and not have to worry that their classmates will point out to them that they have a fat mother. I want to be peaceful with my husband, and enjoy (hopefully) a very long life with each other. I want to be peaceful in knowing that everything in my life has brought me to this place for a reason.....
Ok...now that the sappy stuff is done...what I really want is a McDonald's McDouble.
The End.
The story of learning to put down my fork after 33 years of being full...
LOL!! I used to be a Big Mac kind of girl.
ReplyDeleteI look forward to taking my life back, there was a lot of stuff that I used to do that I can't anymore. Roller coasters, horseback riding, yoga. The cute clothes and being sexy for my man are also pretty high on the list!!
You know what I've discovered? The only thing that really changed is my weight... which is AWESOME, don't get me wrong, but if the problem didn't have to do with weight, it hasn't changed as my weight went done.
ReplyDeleteIt is still hard to find decent guys to date, be confident in myself, my self worth still comes into questions at time.
Things that are different? I'm no longer always obsessing about what people see me eating or pretending that i'm the "salad" girl. I'm no longer always the fattest person in the room, that I don't have to worry about not "fitting" or "feeling" up to doing whatever everyone else is doing.
All the problems that were there, are still there, but no longer is fat holding me back. :) Does that make sense? I kinda just feel like i'm rambling.
It's an awesome feeling not being the fattest person in a room anymore. Granted I still feel like I look like I'm 278 pounds a lot of the time, somewhere in the back of my mind is the reminder that I weigh less than I did when I graduated high school and that's fabulous.
ReplyDeleteI cannot wait for that! I was already a size 22/24 when I graduated high school....So that will be a major day for me when I can slip back into 18/20!
DeleteI am working on a post right now that answers this question... will post it later today. But to give you a quick answer, I am so much more confident and self-assured than I was before. And I love that.
ReplyDeleteI find that its a struggle. I was banded 2/16/12 and thought once I get banded things will get easier--pre-op diet killed me. But then after I was banded it was when will I get to the green zone....it always seems like I am waiting for something....when in realty I think that something has to come from within and that is taking time to fix.
ReplyDeleteUgg...I know...I keep saying to myself that I will be fine after the surgery...but I have a feeling that that is when the hardest work will begin...
DeleteI am most looking forward to walking in a room with my hubby and not wondering how many people are thinking or speaking under their breath..." What is that man doing with that fat lady? Is that his sister, aunt? Can't be his wife he is to handsome and she is too fat!!"...I look forward to walking in a room with confidence and everyone noticing that happy, beautiful couple...I look forward to not being sooo self conscious about how wide my booty is, how large my thighs are or, how low my double chin in hanging...that is what I look forward to when I look to the end of this weight loss journey and start the maintenance journey.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that!
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