And then there was The Fray...

Because some days you just need a song like this....

                             Some things we don't talk about

                                    Rather do without

                                  And just hold the smile

Falling in and out of love

Ashamed and proud of

Together all the while

You can never say never

While we don't know when

But time and time again

Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

[x2]

Picture, you're the queen of everything

As far as the eye can see

Under your command

I will be your guardian

When all is crumbling

To steady your hand

You can never say never

While we don't know when

Time, time, time again

Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

[x2]

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again

We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

And the case of the jumpies...

So....went on a field trip today with Austin's class....a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds...to the pumpkin farm.  The Pumpkin Farm, Goebbert's, is perhaps the best pumpkin farm in the WORLD.  Love it.  Love it more when you get to see how excited little ones are at the animals, the pig races, and the Giant Pumpkin Eating Dinosaur.

But the funny part....well...let's start by saying that I have a FitBit.  It's awesome; logs my steps, calories burned based solely on my activity, and the flights of stairs that I have climbed.  For a female, it suggests clipping it on your bra, right between "the girls".   I like it there...out of the way, pretty accurate, and easy to check.  I put it on today because I was curious how many steps I would actually get in at the farm, and then basically forgot about it.  Halfway home, on the bus, I decided to check it, and the numbers were skyrocketing.  What?  How could I have done 56 flights of stairs already.  Oh...and there goes 57....

Well, after thinking for a minute, sitting in my seat in the back of the bus, a light bulb went off.  I am bouncing up and down in my seat.  The FitBit, snuggled in it's little nest, is also bouncing.  OMG.   My FitBit is counting my boobs bouncing as if they are going up stairs.  I could have died laughing.  Grand total today, 77 flights of steps!  Phew....isn't that like a giant building downtown?  And can I count that as my workout for the day?

and so it went...

I did it.

I went.

They looked.

I think I looked at them more.

And guess what, I wasn't as bad as I had built it up in my head!  But you all already knew that.

I selected an elliptical/cross trainer as planned, picking one on the outside rather than being swallowed by the masses in the long line.  I hit my stride at about 4 minutes, getting down with my bad self and the playlist that I had carefully selected.  (You know, some Glee, some Michael Buble, The Fray, Howie Day, etc.)

I got to the half hour mark, where I had planned to switch to a treadmill, and I felt so good that I wanted to keep going.  So I did.  And when I started to feel discomfort at the 34 minutes mark, I thought about stopping, but got this whole "You can power through this" and "If it's not hard, you are not working hard enough" mentality.  Where the @#(&@ did that come from?  At 40 minutes, I really couldn't take it anymore, and switched to the treadmill for a 10 minute cool down (of PAIN).

I think I pulled a "groin muscle".  Great job, Megan.  I can take about 25 steps without being in pain.  So I am making those 25 steps count.  There are 27 between my computer and the bedroom.  There are only 8 between my bed and my bathroom. 

But that doesn't mean I am giving myself the day off tomorrow.  I plan on doing arms in the morning with the machines so that I don't already break the habit of going.

Geesh...and I thought people looking at me was going to be the worst thing that happened....

The Gym (dum dum dUM!!!!)

So, here's the deal.  I like food.  I like it a lot.  A WHOLE lot.  Which is one of the reasons that I selected the band over other weight-loss surgeries...because I am not AS limited in the foods I can eat.  I can still have apple pie (per previous post), I can have a cheeseburger (small one), and I can even splurge on 5 Guys french fries every once in a while. 

But what I hate, and I mean HATE like it's another four-letter word, is exercise.  Well, let me clarify.  I don't mind walking by myself somewhere with my iShuffle, but there always seems to be other things that come up when I am supposed to be doing that.  (You know, the dishes need to be done, laundry to be folded, the dog wants to snuggle).  I don't mind the elliptical, but it's usually in a gym with...brace yourself...people.  I know, right.  And here's the other thing, these "people" are usually skinny.  Or at least in better shape than I am.  And they look.  They stare.  I can only imagine what they are thinking in their heads.  While I know that people will say back to me "They are probably thinking that you are staring at them", OF COURSE I AM!  They are skinny!   (definition of skinny = anything/one that weighs less than me).  But I know that I need to overcome, or at least work with this fear, if I want to reach my goals.

Because I am not.  Reaching my goals, that is.  Really, I should be about 20 pounds lighter than I am right now.  It was a hard, sucky-ass summer and a lot went down that you don't want to know about and I fell off my course.  So I have some catching up to do.  And I can do it.  I re-joined Weight Watchers online this week to keep track of what I am eating and to make sure I am eating the right things.  (PS... frustrated that avocado is not a "free" fruit or vegetable...that should be rethought.)

And today was the gym day.  Before I was using the little gym in my community that had 2 ellipticals and 5 treadmills and I had to fight the local senior citizens for them.  Not working.  So, I put my big girl pants on this morning (literally) and went to join.....L.A. Fitness.  Uggg.  A big kid's gym.  It's HUGE. (The one in Mount Prospect for all local peeps.)  Joe, who was nice enough to show me around and tell me all about how L.A. Fitness can help me, assured me that people are so concentrated on their own workouts here that they hardly talk to others let alone make snippy gossip.  I think that I could handle snippy gossip (I am always ready with a good Yo Momma joke), it's the quiet perceived comments that kill me. 

I HAVE to get over that....HAVE to....I know stepping up the exercise is what's gonna take me to that next level, and I want to get there (besides, 20 pounds is another size and a half, and I would love to be that before the holidays).  So, I will start tomorrow.  I will drop the kids off at school, and use this time of unemployment to pay a little more attention to myself during the day and push myself a little harder....and believe you me.....I will report back on everyone who gives me a nasty look.

Apple Pie

I like a apple pie.  A whole lot.  And today it won the battle.  Tomorrow I will win as the pie is now all gone.  I also have a HUGE post on pressure of weight loss that I am writing in my head and will get down soon...





That's all I got for today.

On my honor....

OK, so raise your hand if you were a Girl Scout/Boy Scout...go ahead, don't be shy!  I was in Brownies and Junior Scouts when I was younger, and really wanted my girls to have those same experiences...so guess who signed up to be the Daisy leader...that's right...yours truly!

So last night was our first meeting....eight 1st graders and me.  8 little balls of energy and short attention spans and giggles and somersaults.  Let's just say that after the hour long meeting, I want to give all teachers a raise.  I quickly figured out that the best way to do "crowd control" is to keep things moving quickly, give short specific directions, and arts and crafts with busy hands makes for quiet mouths!!!!

But what I enjoyed the most was their eagerness to learn, the smiles on their faces as they learned new songs and finger plays, and how when we all stood in the friendship circle and did the Girl Scout hand squeeze, they closed their eyes and made wishes....it was so sweet.