So, here's the deal. I like food. I like it a lot. A WHOLE lot. Which is one of the reasons that I selected the band over other weight-loss surgeries...because I am not AS limited in the foods I can eat. I can still have apple pie (per previous post), I can have a cheeseburger (small one), and I can even splurge on 5 Guys french fries every once in a while.
But what I hate, and I mean HATE like it's another four-letter word, is exercise. Well, let me clarify. I don't mind walking by myself somewhere with my iShuffle, but there always seems to be other things that come up when I am supposed to be doing that. (You know, the dishes need to be done, laundry to be folded, the dog wants to snuggle). I don't mind the elliptical, but it's usually in a gym with...brace yourself...people. I know, right. And here's the other thing, these "people" are usually skinny. Or at least in better shape than I am. And they look. They stare. I can only imagine what they are thinking in their heads. While I know that people will say back to me "They are probably thinking that you are staring at them", OF COURSE I AM! They are skinny! (definition of skinny = anything/one that weighs less than me). But I know that I need to overcome, or at least work with this fear, if I want to reach my goals.
Because I am not. Reaching my goals, that is. Really, I should be about 20 pounds lighter than I am right now. It was a hard, sucky-ass summer and a lot went down that you don't want to know about and I fell off my course. So I have some catching up to do. And I can do it. I re-joined Weight Watchers online this week to keep track of what I am eating and to make sure I am eating the right things. (PS... frustrated that avocado is not a "free" fruit or vegetable...that should be rethought.)
And today was the gym day. Before I was using the little gym in my community that had 2 ellipticals and 5 treadmills and I had to fight the local senior citizens for them. Not working. So, I put my big girl pants on this morning (literally) and went to join.....L.A. Fitness. Uggg. A big kid's gym. It's HUGE. (The one in Mount Prospect for all local peeps.) Joe, who was nice enough to show me around and tell me all about how L.A. Fitness can help me, assured me that people are so concentrated on their own workouts here that they hardly talk to others let alone make snippy gossip. I think that I could handle snippy gossip (I am always ready with a good Yo Momma joke), it's the quiet perceived comments that kill me.
I HAVE to get over that....HAVE to....I know stepping up the exercise is what's gonna take me to that next level, and I want to get there (besides, 20 pounds is another size and a half, and I would love to be that before the holidays). So, I will start tomorrow. I will drop the kids off at school, and use this time of unemployment to pay a little more attention to myself during the day and push myself a little harder....and believe you me.....I will report back on everyone who gives me a nasty look.