Struggles make you stronger

This week was a HUGE struggle...  with everything..

Struggle to get myself up in the morning to get to work

Struggle with my emotions at my first of 6 doctor appointments that I have to go to to get the surgery

Struggle to get the kids to listen

Struggle to get my husband to do just about anything...

And can we talk about the 800-1200 calorie thing and how, if you are not already banded, this is next to IMPOSSIBLE without eating your hand?

But hurray for the small things...I have not had a Sausage McMuffin from the Arches since Monday.  I am sure they have noticed the loss in revenue...

You can rip your what?

Did you know that you can rip chest muscles/ligaments?  Me neither....

Then I did it...

This weekend...

As I picked Austin up out of his stroller and put him into the minivan.  The pain that I felt in my chest was immediately sent to my head as either being A. Heartburn or B. A Heart Attack.  The best description was a knife in the left side of my chest, but just in one spot.  I could breathe, I wasn't pukey or sweaty.  I could walk and talk. So, I swayed towards option A for 5 hours.  5 painful hours.  I took meds, I rested, then I figured if it was just heartburn I should get up and get ready for the Memorial Day BBQ.  So I vacuumed, I used my Hoover FloorMate and washed the kitchen floors.  I boiled ribs, soaked corn, and baked a pie.  And when I still did not feel better at 2:00PM (it happened about 10:15AM), I told Jim I needed to go to the Doctor.  And you know what: Urgent Care is not open on holidays.  That left me the ER of Northwest Community Hospital.

I heart NWCH. 

Do you know that if you walk into an ER and tell them you are having chest pain that people move around you.  And they move REALLY fast.  Blood, EKG, and Chest X-Ray in 30 minutes flat.  (I should note here that I was not being dramatic, and said over and over to the nurse that I was not having a heart attack because I had looked it up online and WebMD said I wasn't.)  Diagnosis, a torn muscle/ligament in my chest.  Treatment...AWESOME drugs.  I mean, drugs that made me feel like a Friday night at ISU.  Drugs that made me not think so much of the pain, but to become obsessed with the fact that I was sitting in an ER and there was french onion dip and rippled potato chips at home that I really wanted.

Bottom line, I need to lift Austin with my knees and not my back/chest muscles.  Or better yet, I should just have Jim do it.  Lesson learned.

For the love of...

Pizza....tonight my topic is my love of pizza.  The warm, buttery, crispy crust as it burst with flavor into a million little pieces in my mouth...the strong, smooth, and spicy tomato-basil sauce as it flows over my tongue, and the gooey, greasy, stringy cheese that begs to be slurped like a noodle.  Love it.  Love it all.

Tonight, amidst the storms that raged across Chicagoland, I picked up some Lou Malnati's, worlds best pizza.  EVER.  (they ship for people who want to try it themselves).  I took dinner to my parent's house as a substitution for the BBQ that we were supposed to have, and was giddy as a fat kid who was handed a whole chocolate cake and a fork.  But the moment I started to eat it, I got FGG.  I know most of you have had it at some time, no?  FGG?  Fat Girl Guilt?  That little voice that say "Everyone is looking at you, Megan.  Everyone is watching you eat that and thinking how gross it is."  Was anyone actually saying that?  Hell, no!  But that didn't stop me from feeling it, hence I stopped eating.  I waited until I got home, and consumed probably double what I would have if I had just eaten there....FGG Syndrome....it sucks...

I haven't told my family about Lap Band yet...since I am still in the beginning stages and have at least 6 months to go, I figure I have a little time...When did you tell your family?  How did they react?

And there goes my Friend

Today I said good-bye to a good friend.  I cannot even remember when our relationship started, maybe college?  We were buddies, we were pals.  He was there when no one else one.  He popped up every where, and always knew how to cool me off.

Yes, I said good-bye to Mr. Diet Cook.  (Sobbing a little).  My surgeon told me it was time, and I finally bit the bullet and did it.  Ugg...can we talk about the emotional withdrawal?  I know, one would think the caffeine headache would be the main focus, but it is the comfort of that silver and red label.  My friend, what I did with my hands when I was nervous.  I get that it's all about learning new habits, but this one is going to be TOUGH!

On another note, I spoke with the hospital today and we are starting to set up all my appointments.  Maria told me that if I was able to get an appointment with a nutritionalist in the next two weeks that I could still get this done this year.  (I have BCBS of Illinois which requires a 6 month diet, grrr).  But, 6 months, that's not long at all....and what a way to start 2012!!!!

6 months and counting!

Today I took a major step in my life.  I went to a doctor.  And I HATE doctors.  But this doctor is going to help me in a way that no other can.  He is going to put some plastic in me.  And it's magically going to make me loose weight.  Cool, right?  (this is you, Huh?) 

Ok, so, maybe it's a little more complicated like that.  It's more like LapBand Surgery.  Yup....I'm doing it.  It's time.  I am done.  I am ready to move on to the next phase of my life.  I am ready to not weigh 324 pounds.  Yup.  Gross, right?

I attended a seminar a few weeks ago, and tonight was my first consultation with the surgeon.  Thanks to sucky BlueCrossBlueShield of Illinois I will have a 6 month wait period where I will undergo nutritional counseling (as if I didn't know that plain eggs were better for me than a Sausage McMuffin), a psych eval (this I might not pass), and other random tests.  Then, come December or January, I will begin a whole nother journey.  And I cannot wait weight!

So, click that little follow button over there, and watch my journey!