I took a deep breath, picked up the phone, and dialed. I was nervous. My heart was beating fast. The line seemed to ring forever. They finally answered, "Kane Center for Bariatric Surgery." I talked fast, anxious to just get the information out before I backed out, chickened out like I have been for the past two months. The receptionist had a smile in her voice as she asked me to repeat myself.
"I haven't gotten a fill in about 10 months due to some issues, but I think it's time to come back."
"OK, then you will need some bloodwork done, an X-ray to insure the band is still in the right place, and an appointment with the surgeon."
Gulp. I was hoping to just get an appointment with the physician's assistant so that I could kind of tip-toe back into the process. But, nope, ain't gonna happen that way.
So, my first appointment back is set for July 30. At 12:15PM. This is good, right? This is good.
It gives me a couple weeks to get back to liquids and soft foods, to come down off my Diet Coke addiction, to get back into the mid-frame that I am doing this not only for myself, but so that I am around a long time for my kids and husband.
So, fine, I will do this. I will be brave. I will be strong. I am sure I will cry and kick and scream, but I will do this.
Right?
The story of learning to put down my fork after 33 years of being full...
So proud of you for making that call! It's just like when we all started this journey, making that first appt was soooo hard. You are brave, you are strong, you can do this!
ReplyDeleteHold your head up and be brave. They are probably going to make you feel bad, but don't let it demotivate you. I went through it and even the receptionist in the office acted like I murdered someone. I just kept telling myself that I did this because I need help and going back after a setback is part of that help. You and I are not the only people on the planet who have ignored our bands for a while so don't let it upset you too much. Just get refocused think about what you want need to change and take small steps to make the change. I know you can do it because I'm doing it right now. It's really effing hard to change your life, so be kind to yourself and keep getting back up no matter how many times you fall!
ReplyDeleteYou got this. Think back (or re-read your past posts) to remind yourself how and why you got the band in the first place. I'm sure it was because you were desperate, and needed help, and knew that down the road you would still need that help and here you are. You are brave and doing the right thing. I never doubted my own self to lose the weight, but I know I will only have many relapses in my life and when those happen, I will have my band deep inside me and it will jump start me again and I will remember why it's there. Good luck we got your back =)
ReplyDeleteMy blog is MyBandemonium.....FYI
ReplyDelete