What the what?

A lot of people are up in arms about the comments made by Mike Jefferies this week.  This far from attractive man who runs Ambercrombie and Bitch, oops, I mean Fitch, has done exactly what he set out to do: draw attention to his company.  And it has opened the door for a lot of comments and blog posts.  So, of course, I have to jump on the bandwagon. 

I was never the cool kid in high school.  I didn't get invited to the cool kid's parties or the weekends away at people's homes in Wisconsin.  I wasn't a cheerleader, the best actress, the best singer, or any type of athlete.  I was over-weight, kind of a dork, loudly obnoxious.  I was stereo-typed right from the start of freshman year when, at that time, I weighed about 180 pounds (scary that I remember that, but I was in the "fat kids" gym class and was forced into weekly weigh-ins, so that kinda sticks around in the back of your head).  But I did not totally despair.  I got overly involved in all aspects of high school life that I could.  I was a crew member (as in theatre, not the boat), Snowball/Snowflake leader, Editor of the foreign language magazine, speech team, and swim-timer.  I got a job my sophomore year and prided myself on being able to go to school, work, and still have time for the extras.  I made myself comfortable.  I fit in where I could.  I had a great bunch of close friends (HF, LW, and MB, you know who you are).  And, for the most part, I was content.

Flash-forward about 18 years (OMG, class of 1995, we are getting so old!) to me reading a comment like Mr. Jefferies'.  And my heart broke.  I was not personally offended; I am long over shit like stupid people making fun of overweight people.  But my heart broke for all those girls who are in high school right now, already feeling inferior, and having this message drilled into their heads.  I feel for them because I remember what it was like to try and find clothes that didn't make me look like an old lady when all my friends were shopping at "cool" stores and looking good.  I remember the horror of school dances and looking for a dress that wasn't as big as a house (let alone waiting around for some guy to ask me to go, which never ever happened).  I remember all the negativity around weight and the stereo-types that went with it.  And it sucked.

I get that Mr. Jefferies is just trying to get publicity for his company (and perhaps grow his ego a bit).  And I am not faulting him for that.  I think that if I was to be CEO of a company, I would want to get my name out there, too.  But I don't think that I would have done it this way.  I don't think that anyone has a right to raise themselves up at the expense of another group of people.  I don't think it's right to take power that has been earned and use it to belittle others, and, essentially, tell others that they are not as good as the rest of the world.  I think it was poor form.  And I hope his mom is ashamed of him.


I really liked this blog about the issues as well... READ ME!

10 Things Thursday

I haven't done one of these in forever!

1.  Yesterday was 85 degrees, today it is not even 50 degrees.  This is the perfect kind of weather for getting sick!

2.  Don't buy a whole Baker's Square Pie and let it sit in your fridge.  It begs to be eaten...all at once.

3.  Sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the most important.

4.  I started my new job this week!  Only part-time, but it's better than sitting on my duff all day.

5.  Still working to kick the Diet Coke habit.  Ugg...pretty sure they put some addicting stuff in there.

6.  I am in desperate need of a pedicure now that I have seen what my feet look like in flip-flops.

7.  Went to Target this week and for the first time ever left without paying at least $100.  That place is a money pit.

8.  Still addicted to "Law and Order: SVU" on Netflix.  I am now on season 6 and slightly panicked that there are only 12 seasons in total uploaded so far.

9.  I am being encouraged to write a novel.  Any ideas for topics?

10.  I have probably spent at least 2-3 hours this week watching "Friends" bloopers on YouTube.  Hilarious!  Can you believe it's been almost 10 years since that show went off the air?


The End

Walking Buddy

My view....

 

 

Finally!  The weather in the Chicagoland area is BEA-U-TIFUL today!  Mia, my bulmastif, and I went on a nice long walk.  I certainly needed it, after sitting on my arse for days on end watching Law and Order: SVU via Netflix.  Mia certainly needed it; by the end of the walk she was lagging behind me and exhausted.  (She has since reclaimed her position on my bed.)  Baby steps, right?  Day by day....reclaiming my life and working to reach my goals!

After one year

One year ago today I started a journey that I thought would fix all the problems in my life.  (http://bigbottombanded.blogspot.com/2012/04/first-day-of-rest-of-my-life.html)  One year ago today I was sure that when today hit I would be in a better place, a happier place, and that I would be gorgeous.  One year ago today, I set myself up for failure by not realizing that this was going to be harder than I thought.

One year ago today I had lap-band surgery.  For some reason I thought I had it in March, but nope, it was April 23rd.

And, one year from my starting point, I have lost nowhere near the amount of weight that I had hoped to loose.  But there has been much that I have learned.

I have learned that weight loss is truly an up and down journey, and that it does no good to chastise myself when I come up short of my goals.

I have learned that my cravings and desires are not going to change just because I have lap-band.  They are still like little demons that I have to fight every day.

I have learned that Diet Coke is the devil.

I have learned that before I can start taking care of myself physically, there is much that I need to do psychologically. Like many people who have been overweight for most of their lives, I have a lot of built up self-hate and loathing that I need to heal from. Again, just having the lap-band didn't make this all go away over night. It is taking work, lots of work, but I know that with the help and support that I have now, I will get there.

I did some research today...plugged "lap-band failure" into Google to see if there are others, like me, who have not had the success that they thought they would have with lap-band.  There are hundreds of us, message boards devoted to people who have lost less than 50 pounds in a year, stories of other strugglers who have actually still gained weight after having the surgery. 

There is hope, too. 

I have not been getting fills like I should be, mainly because there has been so much else going on in my life that my doctor put them on hold.  But I have a goal.  The middle of June is what I am shooting for to start back on the fills.  That gives me almost two months to "re-prep" my body, to get it accustomed to the foods and liquids like I did before I had the surgery.  It gives me time to psych myself up, just like I did with the two-week pre-op diet.  (Boy, was I hoping that I would never have to go through that again!)

I will not let the negativity of this last year get to me. 

I will start blogging here again for the support and encouragement that I received before.

I will do this.

...and then I made a decision....

I think that we all want to do something big in our lives, that we all want there to be something to say when asked, "what's new?"  For a lot of my friends, it's "we've had a baby!" or "I got a new job!"  Something good.  Something big.  Something positive.  For me....I got nothing.  Yes, I have my family and I LOVE them dearly, but I needed something to look forward to.  Something to strive for.  Something to make me feel like I am being a productive member of society.  (I don't think my mornings of yelling at The View make me very productive, but it is work for society.)

Then I got an e-mail that one of my favorite teachers at the kid's school was diagnosed with breast cancer.  And I got mad.  Because it always seems that stuff like that, bad stuff, happens to good people.  And as I got angry, and as I got a little sad, too, I knew I had to do something to help.  Something to make a difference.  Something to "stride" for.

So, after a little discussion with my husband, I have registered to walk the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Chicago on June 1-2nd.  Me.  I am going to attempt to walk 26.2 miles.  You can walk up to 39.3, but lets be a little realistic, people.  And I am doing it for several reasons.

1.  Mrs. Sanford.  Because I selfishly want her to be around for Austin to be in her classroom next year.

2.  I need my "something" to motivate me.

3.  Because I bet there are people reading this who think I cannot do it.

But, I do need help.  Do you see that little link up on the right side that says Support Megan.  Click on it.  See how far I am in my fundraising.  Help me get a little further.  Help me to help mothers and fathers, grandmas and grandpas, and all the men and women who will get diagnosed with this disease this year.  Help me to help people who are fighting this battle already, and just need a little encouragement.  Help me with some encouragement, too! 

This will not be easy....but I think that my "something" will be fabulous!

And then there was The Fray...

Because some days you just need a song like this....

                             Some things we don't talk about

                                    Rather do without

                                  And just hold the smile

Falling in and out of love

Ashamed and proud of

Together all the while

You can never say never

While we don't know when

But time and time again

Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

[x2]

Picture, you're the queen of everything

As far as the eye can see

Under your command

I will be your guardian

When all is crumbling

To steady your hand

You can never say never

While we don't know when

Time, time, time again

Younger now than we were before

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

[x2]

We're pulling apart and coming together again and again

We're growing apart but we pull it together, pull it together, together again

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

And the case of the jumpies...

So....went on a field trip today with Austin's class....a classroom full of 3 and 4 year olds...to the pumpkin farm.  The Pumpkin Farm, Goebbert's, is perhaps the best pumpkin farm in the WORLD.  Love it.  Love it more when you get to see how excited little ones are at the animals, the pig races, and the Giant Pumpkin Eating Dinosaur.

But the funny part....well...let's start by saying that I have a FitBit.  It's awesome; logs my steps, calories burned based solely on my activity, and the flights of stairs that I have climbed.  For a female, it suggests clipping it on your bra, right between "the girls".   I like it there...out of the way, pretty accurate, and easy to check.  I put it on today because I was curious how many steps I would actually get in at the farm, and then basically forgot about it.  Halfway home, on the bus, I decided to check it, and the numbers were skyrocketing.  What?  How could I have done 56 flights of stairs already.  Oh...and there goes 57....

Well, after thinking for a minute, sitting in my seat in the back of the bus, a light bulb went off.  I am bouncing up and down in my seat.  The FitBit, snuggled in it's little nest, is also bouncing.  OMG.   My FitBit is counting my boobs bouncing as if they are going up stairs.  I could have died laughing.  Grand total today, 77 flights of steps!  Phew....isn't that like a giant building downtown?  And can I count that as my workout for the day?